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- If You Are Drinking To Forget, Pay In Advance
- My Best Friend Is The One Who Brings Out The Best In Me
- Whoever Said Money Can't Buy Happiness, Didn't Know Where To Shop
- Geniuses Are Never Understood In Their Own Lifetimes
- Harrasing Me About My Smoking May Be Hazardous To Your Health!
- I Avoid Temptation Unless I Can't Resist It
- What Is A Friend? 1 Soul In 2 Bodies
- Women/Men Are Like Public Toilets, They Are Either Taken Or Full Of Shit
- Many People Quit Looking For Work When They Find A Job.
- Life's A Beach… Surf It Up!
- A Drunken Man's Words Are A Sober Man's Thoughts
- Life Without Friendship Is Like The Sky Without Sun
- If At First You Do Not Succeed, Destroy All Evidence That You Ever Tried
- Well If I Called The Wrong Numba, Whyd You Answer ?
- Last Night I Was Looking At The Stars And I Was Wondering Where The Heck Is My Ceiling!
- Don't Judge A Man By His Boxers, It's What's Inside That Counts
- Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don't Have Film.
- Reality Sucks! I'm Gonna Keep On Dreamin
- Why Do We Park On Driveways And Drive On Parkways?
- I'm More Drunk Than A Three-legged Chicken On A Wet Patch Of Ice!
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