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- The Easiest Way To Avoid A Hangover Is To Just Stay Drunk
- Politicians Prefer Unarmed Peasants
- Statistics Are Used By People Who Have No Proof
- Be Nice To Your Children. For They Will Be Choosing Your Nursing Home Someday
- Ti's Better To Let Someone Think You Are An Idiott Than To Open Your Mouth And Prove It
- Why Do We Park On Driveways And Drive On Parkways?
- I Always Knew Looking Back On The Tears Would Make Me Laugh,But I Never Knew Looking Back On The Laughs Would Make Me Cry
- Friendship Needs No Words….
- He/She Who Has A Thousand Friends Has Not A Friend To Spare, Who Has One Enemy Will Meet Him Everywhere
- Everybody Makes Mistakes, Thats Why They Put Erasers On Pencils
- If At First You Do Not Succeed, Destroy All Evidence That You Ever Tried
- I'm Not Suffering From Insanity, I'm Enjoying Every Minute Of It
- If You Are Drinking To Forget, Pay In Advance
- Those Who Know Do Not Say, Those Who Say Do Not Know
- People Who Think They Know Everything Are Annoying To Those Of Us Who Do
- Health Nuts Are Going To Feel Stupid Someday, Lying In The Hospital Dying Of Nothing
- A Real Friend Is Someone Who Walks In When The Rest Of The World Walks Out
- Don't Cry Because It's Over, Smile Because It Happened
- We Will Be Friends Until Forever, Just You Wait See
- If You Act Crazy All Your Life, They'll Never Be Able To Commit You
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