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- I Can't Wait To See How You Look When I'm Naked
- One Loyal Friend Is Worth Ten Thousand Relatives
- The Easiest Way To Avoid A Hangover Is To Just Stay Drunk
- Be The Change You Wish To See
- There Are Some That Are Wise And Others That Are Otherwise
- If Marriage Is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Inlaws
- I'm Not An Alcoholic. I Am A Drunk. Alcoholics Go To Meetings
- I'd Explain It To You, But Your Brain Would Explode.
- This Isn't School! This Is Hell With Flourecent Lighting
- §omewhere There'§ §omeone Who Dream§ Of Your §mile, And Find§ In Your Pre§ence That Life I§ Worth While, §o When You Are Lonely, Remember It's True: §omebody, §omewhere Is Thinking Of You
- Dont Steal, The Government Hates Competition
- Life's A Beach… Surf It Up!
- Life's A Bitch. Be Its Pimp
- I Don't Curse, Drink And Smoke. H*ly Shit! My Cigarette Fell In My Glass Of Beer!
- War Does Not Determine Who Is Right… But Who Is Left
- If You Hate Me, I Love You Too. It Ain't My Fault I'm Better Than You
- A True Friend Is Someone Who Is There For You When He'd Rather Be Anywhere Else
- Side By Side Or Miles Apart, Dear Friends Are Always Close To The Heart
- Quitting Smoking Is Easy, I've Done It A Hundred Times
- To The World Your Just One Person But To One Person You Could Mean The World
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